JI-SHI-KA

I just unfollowed all my cute girl/cute animal blogs and tumblr is 100% more fun now. Sorry, World...

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 20:27:24 +0900

I just unfollowed all my cute girl/cute animal blogs and tumblr is 100% more fun now.

Sorry, World of Cute and Sexy, but I just need to focus on geek stuff right now. I hope we can still be friends?

Quest for Vocal Glory: How Kickstarter helped me become a professional video game voice-over actor.

Sun, 17 Feb 2013 13:02:24 +0900

Quest for Vocal Glory: How Kickstarter helped me become a professional video game voice-over actor.:

I love this Slate story. Lately “pursue your dream now because you are not immortal” has become a recurring theme in my thoughts/conversations/dreams. I’ve been getting back into my creative habits recently, too, even though it’s, ahem… uncomfortable.

But I mean, browsing Kickstarter to find projects that would be more open to employing inexperienced/cheaper talent? Fucking brilliant. Good for you, man.

Some things that are uncomfortable (4-type edition)

Sun, 17 Feb 2013 12:31:00 +0900

I hate being uncomfortable. (Enneagram folks, I am a 4 with a “self-preservation” instinct, and we are all kind of comfort-obsessed.)

And today is an an uncomfortable day.

My stomach is uncomfortable. (I have been nauseous/vomiting the past several days.)
My arms are uncomfortable. (I have bruises. Typing is hard.)
Art and creativity are uncomfortable. When I’m not sitting with my tools I’m thinking and fantasizing about the wonderful things I will create. But when I sit down, I do not magically start making beautiful things. Getting myself to actually put my pen to the paper is like pulling teeth. Uncomfortable.
Getting vulnerable is uncomfortable. I am not really sure what this whole “vulnerability” thing is about except that it gives the other person the option to say no to you, and you cannot punish them in order to force them to change their mind. And that is uncomfortable. And scary. And kind of makes me want to hyperventilate.
Change is uncomfortable. Admitting that you are wrong is uncomfortable. Listening to someone else tell them how you hurt them is uncomfortable.
Free time is uncomfortable. Free time presents a choice about how to spend your time and what if you make the wrong choice oh God the walls are closing in.
Existing in a public space, where others might see you and perhaps comment upon your existence, is uncomfortable. (Bet you’re glad you have that fully-stocked emergency bunker in your basement! …What?)
Trying something new is uncomfortable. Letting go of the reins is uncomfortable. Experimenting is uncomfortable. (Because your natural state of being is all wrong, and it’s only through careful self-control that you’ve managed to make it this far…)
Writing all this down on tumblr, where probably no one will see it but theoretically anyone could, is uncomfortable.

So now that we see that anything besides hiding in my bed and watching Project Runway reruns fills me with stomach-lurchy feelings, the question is not, “why have you thrown up so much in the past 48 hours?” but “how have you ever managed to keep any food down, in your life, ever?”

So today I pledge to release being uncomfortable. My discomfort, though it is very real, and though it feels debilitating, is not going to be my enemy today. When it comes up (as it does again and again) I will acknowledge it and let it go.

That is the lesson that puking my way through the weekend has taught me: that when bad feelings (such as impending vomit) come up, it is much better to acknowledge and release them (run to the toilet) than it is to try and hold back, which only prolongs one’s suffering.

theseasonofthewitch: Okay but that cat is definitely plotting...

Sat, 08 Sep 2012 00:08:45 +0900

theseasonofthewitch:

Okay but that cat is definitely plotting your demise

In-train ad for JR West (railway company). Translation of the...

Mon, 02 Jul 2012 06:13:27 +0900

In-train ad for JR West (railway company). Translation of the headline:

“…Buh?”

Yeah, that’s exactly how I feel when I take JR West.

The Japanese actually says, essentially, “Sorry this gift...

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 10:59:31 +0900

The Japanese actually says, essentially, “Sorry this gift is so lame.” (Which is what you’re -supposed- to say when giving a gift in Japan. Do not talk about how much thought you put into it or ask if they liked it. Just outright admit that your gift sucks, even if it’s gold-plated unicorn horns.)

But yeah, it doesn’t mean “Lovely one for you.” Whatever the hell THAT means.

requisiteamountofcaffeine: We here at tumblr do love a good...

Sat, 05 May 2012 14:48:54 +0900

requisiteamountofcaffeine:

We here at tumblr do love a good llama

luckily i have one of each to keep me company/remind me of my mortality

I’ve been a huge fan of Kimura Kaela ever since her single...

Thu, 03 May 2012 15:48:00 +0900

I’ve been a huge fan of Kimura Kaela ever since her single “Ring a Ding Dong” came out, about the time that I arrived in Japan. It’s such a happy song on its face, but if you listen to the lyrics, it’s also a gentle song about getting through sadness and the sunshine that comes after a rainy day. Rather excited about the release of her upcoming single Mamireru!

Note to companies who want to sell me things: I find that putting Kimura Kaela’s face/voice on something is a pretty good way to get me to buy a product. Whether it’s a cell phone, makeup, even gum　(I hate gum. Seriously.), KK’s entice-to-purchase powers are second only to those of my longtime love, Kapibara-san.

sandman-kk: (via mattb_tv) I think my heart just stopped a...

Thu, 03 May 2012 14:17:40 +0900

sandman-kk:

(via mattb_tv)

I think my heart just stopped a little

I have updated so little this year! It’s time to get the...

Wed, 02 May 2012 17:55:00 +0900

I have updated so little this year! It’s time to get the ball rolling again with Blog Me MAYbe. (Thank you injury-prone-author-wife for introducing me.) Lots of books-y people are doing it. It’s a schedule to blog by for the month of May to get (back) into the habit of posting often.

Today’s Wednesday, and Wednesday is Ask a Personal Question Day. Question:

Recently I read Wraeathu by Storm Constantine. There was so much to love and so much to hate about that book. And it is a long book. A trilogy of long books, technically. Naturally there were several times where I thought about just giving up—and I’m glad I didn’t. So friends, what’s one book you’ve had to slog your way through, and what’s one book you’ve thrown down in frustration?

This guy is from Darcy’s story and I drew him and you...

Sat, 07 Apr 2012 01:49:00 +0900

This guy is from Darcy’s story and I drew him and you should read it when it’s published!

Today, Darcy rescued a baby plover from a fenced-in cement porch and returned him to his parents in the rice field. She showed me the bird in her hands - he was so fuzzy and tiny and brown, and his wings looked like boomerangs made of beanbags.

Actually, I had a trapped bird experience of my own recently - I was in Family Mart, and there was some little bird like a starling stuck inside. I tried to open the automatic doors for it, but the confused bird just stared at the open door, then flew back into the store. Σ（ﾟдﾟlll）

My Japanese teacher (hi!) wrote me with corrections for “I dropped my shoe while riding my bike.” Here’s the correct sentence: 「今日、自転車をこいでいたら、靴が脱げた。」 Apparently there’s a unique verb for riding a bike, and switching subjects in the middle of a sentence is OK! Well, I’ll be. But I’ll have to ask about te-form plus いたら, because that’s a new one on me. She also noted, 「春は心が震える季節」, for which I can come up with no other translation than, “Spring is the season when your heart trembles.”

(I was so excited to get a text about studying Japanese that I jumped out of bed and danced through my morning. I probably haven’t done this since Christmas morning, age ten. Weird? Weird.)

Just a month ago, I was moaning about how I don’t have any career-applicable skills outside of teaching English to non-native speakers, but recently I’ve had a change of heart. Besides writing, I’m interested in editing and translating. Also, I would make a great study abroad coordinator. Most of my intended career paths involve getting up to at least business level in Japanese and passing the N2 test, so… looks like I’m about to enter 勉強 (study) hell?

Wait just a hot minute, I graduated in 2009. Do I even know how to study anymore? …Did I even know how to study back then? （－－；）

今日自転車を運転しながら道の真ん中で靴が落ちた。

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 21:15:17 +0900

Today while riding my bike, I dropped my shoe in the middle of the road. (true story)

Can anyone tell me if I should be saying 落ちた or 落とした here? I think I should say 落とした because I, rather than my shoe, am the subject of this sentence. (N.B.: My shoe cannot ride a bike.) Also, is it right to use が instead of を because I obviously did not drop my shoe on purpose? Finally, I can say 運転する for a bike, right? Right?

最近心が重い。どうしてか知らない。金曜日と土曜日に雨が降ったから？友達がなかなか作らないから？やっと両親に連絡されたから？判らない...

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 16:02:00 +0900

最近心が重い。どうしてか知らない。金曜日と土曜日に雨が降ったから？友達がなかなか作らないから？やっと両親に連絡されたから？判らない。この気持ちなんだろう？不安？寂しさ？憂鬱？それも判らない。
春のウラウラとした日差しを見ても泣きたい。美しい音楽を聞いても泣きたい。優しい言葉を言われても泣きたい。
不思議ね。

Life, in 3 Simple Steps

Thu, 01 Mar 2012 12:46:55 +0900

1. Start
2. Trust
3. Continue

(N.B.: Simple does not mean easy.)

My characters are getting all Samurai-Princess on me....

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 15:27:46 +0900

My characters are getting all Samurai-Princess on me. (That’s two boys, by the way. Axis is just a really small and adorable dude.)

alighterwithlove: the-girl-detective-fails: neil-gaiman: How...

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 17:46:37 +0900

alighterwithlove:

the-girl-detective-fails:

neil-gaiman:

How to Write a Novel.

And you know, this is pretty much everything you need to know. The rest is detail, most of which is irrelevant…

(Stolen from http://www.nicalderton.com/blog/HowToWriteANovel/)

80,000 words you say…

#that’s totally doable #I just need to rent a cabin somewhere there’s no internet

20 days, 35,000 words

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 17:21:00 +0900

Last month, I set a goal to finish my novel by the 1-year anniversary of the Great East Japan Earthquake (3/11/2012). Heavylight isn’t about the tsunami per se, but it’s about Japan, and the disaster has become part of the cultural fabric here. What’s more, it has a very personal significance to me, because I had recently lived in one of the affected coastal towns when the tsunami happened.

A lesson I took away from the tragedy was that none of us knows how much time we have left. Inspired to live life to the fullest, I decided to write a novel, something I’d always wanted to do but had never managed. I used to be too caught up in being “good at writing” or being “literary” to actually write. So, using my new-found perspective, I let go of all that baggage, and I started Heavylight.

(And I did it during NaNoWriMo, because there’s no better time for people who’ve always wanted to write a novel to actually Sit Down And Write A Damn Novel.)

I got a good start, but then I got lost. Really lost. The plot just totally abandoned me there for a while. Then it turned up and said, “Hey! That last 20k or so? That was garbage! Cut it!”

So after winning NaNo, I cut out a lot of words, then slowly built my story back up, and now here I am, right in the middle of things, swimming with doubt. I’m battling down all these demons telling me my plot sucks, my setting isn’t unique, my characters are one-dimensional and unlikeable, and that my current narrator is an enigma (and that’s not a good thing).

I know… I probably sound like every other writer who has ever been halfway through a book.

To sum up, if I want to finish this story and I think this story is going to be about 90k, then I have 35k to write over 20 days, which is about the pace I went during NaNo but for a shorter burst. And I have no idea if I’m going to make it or not.

Mmm, uncertainty sandwich.

Just tell me this one thing:

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 18:19:00 +0900

What’s with this Sword of Damacles shit?

What’s this feeling that I’ve got something awful hanging over my head, and where does it come from? Specifically, the feeling like I’ve forgotten to do something very important, and that I can’t relax until I’ve done it. Doing “productive” things (hanging the laundry, sending important emails, lesson planning) alleviates some of the pressure, but it always comes back. What’s up with that?

I look over at my partner playing Legend of Zelda, and I see that she is not currently experiencing the same feeling of anxiety/dread. That’s good: if I’d partnered up with someone else who shared my set of anxieties, we’d wreck each other’s nerves into early graves. (The downside is that she finds my need to feel “productive” during my time off somewhat pathological.)

And the more time I spend THINKING about it, the more anxious I become, while what it is I’m “supposed” to be doing doesn’t get any clearer. Meanwhile, I’m just spinning my wheels, procrastinating and feeling guilty about procrastinating and now I’m not even sure what I was procrastinating but obviously I’m not doing it right now and oh god I’m wasting my life, what do I do, what do I do.)

So just tell me what this feeling is and what I’m supposed to be doing about it, and I’ll just do that, and Universe, you and I will be all cool for a while. Is it a deal?

(And don’t give me any bullshit about how I’m supposed to be “getting in touch with my Essence” because last I checked, there is no Essence button on this machine.)

Happy chocolate-buying day to Japan!

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 14:06:43 +0900

Happy chocolate-buying day to Japan!

Really? Because it kind of doesn’t look that way.

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:30:05 +0900

Really? Because it kind of doesn’t look that way.